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. Melanie," he said, pointing his hand first at the elf and then at Melanie. "Melanie, Tawny is the statistician for the North Pole." Among other things," said Tawny, whose voice was still cold."Melanie is a soldier, like me," said Bob."Among other things," said Melanie, whose voice matched that of Tawny. Even Bob could tell that the two women were in the process of determining the status of the other, and what to do about it.Tawny had the upper hand, though, because she already knew that humans existed. It took a full ten seconds, but then it hit Melanie that Tawny's ears were, in fact, sharply pointed and that these two intruders were, in fact ... elves!"Holy shit!" gasped the woman. "You're a fucking elf!" I am not, at the moment ... fucking," said Tawny, her young girl voice emphasizing the vulgarity of the word. "You, on the other hand, apparently were." She stepped closer. "You're a fucker!" she said, her voice full of displeasure. She looked up at Bob. "She's a fucker! What are. Jesus, just thinking about it still scares me — my dad would have walloped me good. But that was in ‘the good old days’ when the law could be enforced with some common sense, today, there would be lawsuits, official complaints and who knows what else, if the Sheriff didn’t go strictly ‘by the book.’ Anyway, neither Audrey nor I have been doing anything to move the divorce along. She quit her job, and found work in a CPA office run by a woman. She’s pleaded with me to move back into the house with her, but I’m staying in the trailer for awhile. We talk on a regular basis, and Audrey makes sure to get me over a couple times a week for dinner. She knows my weakness for a home cooked meal. She claims that she just wants to be sure that I’m eating right, and not living on fast-food. She has told me about her affair (without going into all of the gory details, at my request), and it sounds as if there was less to it than my imagination might have conjured up, but still enough. I explained.
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